In a disfunctional childhood, Corbie wrestled with who she was and what she was worth. She had a couple of bad marriages and then had to tackled breast cancer. She had a double mastectomy, which was very difficult but realised through previously working with the Option Institute, that life came down to 3 things:
- What are you unhappy about?
- Why are you unhappy about it?
- What do you think would happen if you stopped being unhappy about it?
She thought of all the reasons why her mastectomy was something to be happy about, now 13 years on she has such a positive attitude and ….is clean of cancer. It would have been so easy to give up but Corbie decided that life was all about making choices and if she wanted to change things, it had to start with her. She had a responsibility, to respond rather than to react – it was about learning to deal with what she had to deal with, rather than just letting things happen.
So how does stress link in with making choices?
We know that the immune system gets depressed with stress, as stress has been connected to health problems such as heart attacks, strokes and diabetes. If you relieve the stress your entire system will work at optimum level.
In some ways, Corbie feels we need to make friends with stress, as it can be good for you if perhaps you are preparing for a presentation or performance. You should also watch for negative stress, as some stress can be a big wake up call, to stop you doing something that was not good for you.
Constant pressure can cause stress so saying “no” is a great idea. But if stress is a part of the job how do you cope with it? You may have to accept there will be a certain amount of stress, be aware of your own time commitments, think carefully before you say yes or even delay if you can. One way is to put your stresses into three categories:
- I have to do it
- I would like to do it
- I can’t do it
Then find people to look at and help with those things in Category 3. Delegate and realise that others can help. This helps you get things into perspective and be able to stand back and cultivate your view.
If you can’t make stress go away, you then have to change the way you respond to it. Then you can stop feeling afraid, stop feeling helpless or stop feeling angry… and move on. It is always up to you how you respond – it’s at the route of being human. Resilience is about giving yourself the permission to have and make choices.
There seems to be a lack of separation in our lives as we have constant threats on our time and often lack clarity. We need to get clear about what our goals and dreams are. Learn from people with focus and find your “tribe”, whilst avoiding the doom and gloom in the world. We need to de-clutter all of those tasks, relationships and emotions that waste our time as they don’t feed the soul or benefit us in any way.
Find your tribe
Perfection can ruin lives and take away joy, so Corbie sees perfection as flexible… considering other ideas, changing course and realising what matters. Life isn’t perfect so “do what you can, with what you have, where you are” Theodore Roosevelt …… compromise is the way it has to be.
Corbie has created the self-development project, which looks at clarity, simplicity, adaptability and stress. Four things to help us move forward and her first book “Clean our your life closet” launches on January 31st .
You can get in touch with Corbie at www.corbie.mitleid.com
We will leave you with this thought from Corbie “When you make no judgements about what is happening, but simply ask…. all possibilities are open to you.”